January 16, 2015
-
Written on January 14th
Today I woke up, made beggs and acon, and then promptly checked the mail. But Blaine's mail STILL hadn't arrived, and that threw me into a blind-rage of a panic attack. I blew up and screamed a bit and paced around cursing whichever mailman was the one who stole my mail. I finally got the attack under control by taking two Gabapentin, one Flexeril, and one Risperidone. Blaine convinced me that it will come sometime this week and to be patient, but I don't know. It seems like this is too long for it to be normal. I really think someone stole my mail. I feel so helpless when things like this happen because what can I do? I don't even know which post office stole it. But anywho, once the pills kicked in I was left in a dreamy haze all day and I watched Frozen twice, dozing off midway through the second time. I felt pretty nice in my cloud of drugged up delirium. It was pretty fun. I forgot how fun just simple pills can be. I've been hooked on weed for so long now that I seem to have forgotten that other drugs can be fun without a cloud of smoke attached. I like to stay high these days, and weed is the best way to do that. But I used to have a pretty stormy love affair with pills and other pharmaceuticals once upon a few years ago, and I have forgotten the satisfaction they can bring to my every-thirsting drug-lust. Mmmmm, nice, fuzzy, hazy, day-dream, bubble of downers. It was pleasant. The only other highlight of my day, besides the pill-high and watching Frozen, was that Carlton had some great news to break to me… And it could even just be the thing that saves our lives.
His uncle offered him a job in Odessa as a logging truck driver, which paid $1500 a week…. Let me repeat. $1500 A WEEK. And it gets better. There's a nice RV waiting for us to live in in a trailer park in Odessa and we can go there probably within the month to begin our new lives and get a fresh start at everything. This news could be the cure for everything. I don't want to get my hopes up though in case it doesn't pan out. But try as I might, there's this little voice in my head saying…
Could it be… My olive branch has arrived??
