January 9, 2015

  • Written on Jan 5th 2015

    This morning I woke up and got ready for Sue Long and Lorraine to come over to eat lunch with us, Nana was making ham, rice, and slow cooked pinto beans, MMMMMM. I never have the patience to cook beans like that, but they really do taste soooooo much better than the canned ones. Anywho, so lunch with them was very nice, both the food and the company. Afterwards Nana and I rested a bit and then I asked her if she wanted to watch Frozen with me again, which she said she did. I LOVE that movie. It's one of my favorite Disney movies now. Right up there with Lion King, 101 Dalmatians, and Pocahontas! I'm really glad Disney is still able to make wonderful movies. This one will be a classic. Everyone loves it and so do I! After the movie ended, it was dark outside already and I went up to my room to turn on the tube and get ready for bed. But as I passed by my window, something caught my eye outside. Something across the other side of the city was burning down. There was a bright orange glow coming from flames and I threw open the window and crawled out onto the roof to watch the fire, because you know, whoever's house or business was burning down, I can relate and I felt so bad for them. I hated that something was on fire. I hate fire. But when I got out onto the roof, I got a closer look and realized that it wasn't a fire at all, it was the moon rising from the horizon. It glowed orange and gold and I couldn't help but stay to watch. So I set up a little pallet on the roof right outside the window, brought my drink out with me ( a "Georgia Juice Bomb") and turned up the music on Samson. I decided to stay and watch the moon rise until it rose all the way up above the trees in my yard. It was beautiful. I sat out there and although it was cold, it didn't seem to bother me much. I stood and started dancing to the songs up on my roof under the light of the moon and a sense of wonder and excitement came over me like I hadn't felt in so long. It was surprising and nice. I couldn't help but smile pretty much the entire time watching, and dancing under the beautiful moon rise. I didn't know what it was about this particular moon rise that captivated me so, but it made me think back to the last time I watched the same moon out on this same roof, with these same eyes… It was January 9th, 2012. I'll never ever forget the date because it was the first time I ever told Carlton I liked him and he said he liked me, and although we didn't technically start dating until January 28th, that was really the day that started it all. And I remember looking forward to January 9th before that because it was a full moon on that night and mysterious and magical things always seem to happen to me on a full moon night when I'm aware of the moon. I had a drink then too, it was a glass of Arbor Mist White Zinfandel wine, and I put a stick of incense out and let it burn while I took pictures of the moon and the incense smoke in the foreground on my new camera that I had just gotten for Christmas. It was truly a magical night and it just might have been the thing that sparked the magic and wonder for all of 2012. It all started with a full moon… And as I sat out on my roof watching the big, golden moon turn to silky silver and rise above the treetops in my yard, and reminiscing about the way that full moon looked back then, I suddenly got a surprising thought. My eyes grew wide and I stared at the moon for a few seconds in disbelief, shaking my head and telling myself 'it can't be…' Then I sprung to my feet, climbed back in through the window and grabbed Samson. I opened Google and searched for what phase the moon was in on this night… Full. January 5th, 2015: full moon. The fullest. … I hadn't even known it would be a full moon, I had no idea what phase the moon was in before this, and I climbed back through the window and watched the full moon in pure disbelief. And then another eerie but magical thought suddenly took hold of me: Everything in 2012 seemed to begin with a full moon and end with a fire. But tonight, it was actually a fire that I'd climbed out the window to watch, that turned out to be the full moon… It had begun with a fire and ended with a full moon. And it was in that moment that I just couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, in some mysterious way, that this could possibly be the starting point of a better year. I almost felt scared to even think that thought because I'm so worried about jinxing anything, and things have been bad now for so long that a good year really seems so out of sight and less probable now than ever. But still. The full moon was there in my face, there was no denying that. It filled me with wonder and hope. That hope I tried so hard to press down and forget so as not to get my hopes up for the umpteenth time, but hard as I tried to fight it, the sense of hope remained. I still don't know what this full moon means, if anything, but I'm crossing my fingers that it is a good omen for another good year… Maybe?