October 17, 2014

  • The Last One Standing

    Well Xanga, alas you are now completely what you've been dissolving into for almost a decade now... I will always remember the livelihood and popularity of Xanga that I experienced when I first signed up. It was like a boom-town filled with hustle and bustle, and it seemed that everyone had something to write... Myspace ate you up and Facebook spit you out, and Twitter's hounding at your heels. Once the top, you sure sunk to the bottom silently. But although Xangans have been realizing this for years now, what we didn't ever plan on was Xanga becoming so remote and abandoned, that even that tight-knit, always&forever community of the "true Xangans", (the ones who stayed), has now withered away to dust. Absolute dust. And I mean that in the very truest meaning of the word. Dusty, Xanga you're dusty, like walking through a deep closet of cobbwebs. It's like something out of a movie; all the traces of things that were once so filled with life, are still remaining, though faded and weathered. No more comments, no more posts, no more bonding with Xanga friends. But you can still see the marks of where the water rose. 2005 and flooded, everyone has changed and moved on by now. And even the very last of my remaining Xanga friends, have now vanished too. The very latest post on my feed from a friend is from last March... And that was written by a Xangan I thought would never leave. And you can't see the characters anymore, and you won't know how their stories end, but you can still see the dust of lives lived and kept safe in this corner of the internet. It begs the question, where did the time go?

    I've been the best poster, the worst poster, the longest, the shortest, the strongest, the weakest, the truest... For years now I have felt that I am not as much myself because I don't post very often on Xanga, and that thought has put pressure on me to write, which then creates a terrible case of writer's-block. But through it all, thick and thin, even when Xanga seemed the farther away that it could ever be, there was always that part of me that knew in the end it would all come down to this... Me. Here. I stayed. It's been a long time coming, and I'm the last one standing. And although I'm barely hanging on by a thread, it is the one thread that can't break. I won't leave. I'll be here till the bitter end. I haven't posted as much as I should've in these past years, and I haven't been as true as I once was... But the screen name never lied. Like dry ice, my Xanga is mysterious, dangerous, and different. It always has been. And it's always been true. And I've always really been here. And if the time ever comes that Xanga and I part ways forever, it will be because Xanga officially, permanently shut down and won't let me have it back. Otherwise, even if I am the only one paying however much a year, I'll be here. I'll keep coming back. Just you wait. Some time may go by without posts or traces of me, but I will always come back. And if life can't even find me, there's one place it knows to look... When it all comes down to it, I'll be here. I'll be right here.