I... can't... do this anymore....
I need out.
I need help.
I can't quit dreaming of the me that coulda-shoulda-woulda-been...
I can't get you out of my head.
You're everywhere that's anywhere.
You soak up my whole bed.
I hate you.
I want you.
I miss you.
I trust you.
I'll listen to you.
I loved you.
I need you.
I need you.

I was in another car crash.
I survived a car crash, once again.
My car crashes all the time now;
They seem to be the trend.
Sometimes they leave dents.
Sometimes they leave scars.
Sometimes someone asks if I'm okay.
But most people only care about the car...
Cause cars can do no wrong,
So crashes aren't their fault.
I must've just deserved it;
I guess I must a lot...

"I've
known it from the start,
all these good ideas
can tear your brain
apart...
Scared; but you,
you follow me.
I'm too weird to live,
but much too rare to die."

Look, Xanga,
here's the deal...
I don't know how to talk to you anymore.
It's ridiculous.
And unnatural.
And pointless.
And why
am
I
even
writing
this?
Well, I don't know...
BUT,
I DO know,
that even if I don't write anything else all year -
I'll still be right back,
here;
writing...
When my membership runs out in February...
Renewing again;
like a fool...
Like a Xanga-fool-in-love...
Because - even though I KNOW it's stupid -
and though I KNOW it doesn't make sense...
You,
Xanga,
are one of the only things 'still-standin'
from those glory days;
and all the non-glory days alike...
And on my honor,
if you'd like -
I'll swear my end to you;
and I'll just write...
And write;
and keep writing;
and writing;
and writing....
I've learned something about "priorities",
and I know now, that it doesn't matter;
whether I use my $48-per-year-Xanga-membership to get rich and famous and offset the costs;
or if I never even write a word...
Well, why?
Because guys...
Sometimes;
in this life,
you say "bye",
to SOME things,
but SOMETIMES,
you might find,
something
that you...
just.
can't.
live die.
without.
...
&Now you must,
know where this..
is going now!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I LOVE YOU;
I'LL LEAVE YOU;
UNTIL THEN;
I'LL BREATHE YOU;
&I'VE LEFT YOU;
&LOST YOU;
BUT I CAME BACK;
IT WAS PASSED-DUE;
&I CAN'T LIVE;
WITHOUT YOU;
I JUST SIT IN;
THINK ABOUT YOU;
I GUESS I;
JUST NEED YOU;
TO KNOW THAT;
I WANT YOU;
I WANT YOU;
I WANT YOU;
&I GOT YOU....
...
YOU WEREN'T FIRST;
YOU WERE THE ONE;
YOU TAUGHT ME;
HOW TO OUTRUN;
YOU SHOT ME;
XANGIE'S GOT A GUN?
YOU GOT ME;
I'M ALL XANGAN....
AND SHAMELESS;
AND NAMELESS;
AND CARELESS;
AND WRECKLESS;
&IF I BREAK LOSE;
YOU CAN'T CHANGE THIS;
NOT THAT YOU'D;
WANT TO....
BUT;
IN THE END;
ON THE RUN;
WHEN TIME'S UP;
&I'M DONE;
WHETHER I;
GIVE UP;
OR LIVE ON;
STRIVE FOR;
OR STRAY FROM;
MELT-DOWN;
LEAN-ON;
BRICK-WALL;
FREE-RUN;
FREE-FALL;
PISCES;
TWO TWINS;
TWO DREAMS;
WHO NO ONE;
BELIEVES;
AS IF THEY'D;
EVEN GRIEVE....
BUT;
...
....
...
But...
but, in the end,
-evenifitneveraddsupand-
-evenifitnevermakessense-
I'll be right here;
same ol' place as always.
And I'll be writing,
and writing,
and writing,
and writing.
And even if I died,
or am dying,
I'll still just be here.....
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
trying;
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
writing;
&smiling...

Step One: DON'T write on Xanga.
Whatever you do, DON'T ever even get a Xanga...

**DMS** = a code-word I made which stands for: Deeper-Meaning-Song [any song-lyrics tagged with this code-word are ones that have a VERY-PERSONAL, and VERY-SPECIFIC, meaning to me for reasons that could only be explained on Xanga to make an ounce-a-sense.]

When the lights go out
Will you take me with you
And carry all this broken bone
Through six years down in crowded rooms
And highways I call home?
Something I can't know 'til now.
'Til you pick me off the ground
With a brick in hand, your lip-gloss smile,
Your scraped-up knees.

And if you stay I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes.
How long?
'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm
You can run away with me anytime you want

Terrified of what I'd be
As a kid from what I've seen
Every single day when people try
And put the pieces back together
Just to smash them down
Turn my headphones up real loud
I don't think I need them now
'Cause you stopped the noise.

And if you stay I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes.
How long?
'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm
You can run away with me anytime you want

Well, anytime you want
Well, anytime you want

Don't walk away [3x]

'Cause if you stay I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes.
How long?
Until we find our way in the dark and out of harm.
You can run away with me
You can write it on your arm
You can run away with me anytime you want