Month: February 2014

  • Something is wrong when

    You dream about banging your head on a wall.

    You feel sad when your boyfriend says he loves you.

    You feel apologetic for talking to your boyfriend too much.

    You change your bra in front of your boyfriend and he never takes his eyes off Reddit.

    Let's try this: "Today I Learned" ...

    That my boyfriend cares more about what strangers on Reddit "learned today" than anything his girlfriend did that day.

    That I am not allowed to disagree with anything my boyfriend says, and that he gets the final say on everything "or else".

    That this isn't my house, and it never will be; and this place where I keep all my little things and prance  around picking up and organizing it all every day is really nothing more than a naive little girl dressing up in big-girl clothes and playing house in a place that I had to force myself into being welcome at in the first place.

    That this just isn't gonna get better.

    That this is the definition of 'settling'.

    That there are things I can do to make this more bearable, and this is one of them.

  • Update turned List

    I shall start with a to-do list, mostly because I don't want to forget it while I get up and look for writing supplies, and also because why the hell not?

    *Shelley's To-Do List*

    +Call Cassie

    +Do laundry

    +Dance about

    +Swing on Flego

    +Walk Corabelle

    -Read Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 by Hunter S. Bad-ass

    +Write on here

    Well I'm just gonna post this To-Do list separately from my update, so bye now.

  • Update of the day

    To start today's update; I FUCKING HATE SPAWN. He truly is the Spawn of Satan. He always catches me off guard when I'm stoned and can't come up with a quick come back like I could easily if I was sober. It always makes me look stupid. Fuck him. He's so arrogant and awful. All I did was walk to the bathroom and he had his little friend over and he asks, "Pop Quiz. What's the pythagorean theorem? (Or however the fuck you spell it, I swear I do know how, but - too high to remember and too pissed to care.) And I was totally caught off guard after just chugging a beer and smoking a bowl. Fucking bastard. So I said "Something with triangles." And just walked into my room and closed the door. All I can say is I hope that's something along the lines of right. It probably isn't. Whatever. I'm debating whether or not to look it up. I don't want to let it get to me that much, and also I'm afraid to find out how wrong I am... But curiosity killed the cat so what the hell, here I go... YES!!!! I win this round!!!! It TOTALLY is "something with triangles"!!!! I knew it!!! Ha, okay well I guess almost none of that is true, and I probably still looked like a dumb-ass, BUT at least I looked like I was just too above it (I hope) to elaborate. Give me a pop fucking quiz? If I didn't do math in school, why the fuck would I do it for him? Wtf? Fucking arrogant smart-ass bastard. I may write more in a bit - I intend to, but I better send this baby off before I procrastinate it and it never gets seen.

    Later guys

  • I'm actually not dumb,

    I just play dumb on TV..

  • SPAWN

    I HATE HIM.

  • *Ouch* The Inevitable Broncos Post :(

    Well, as anyone knows, I'm a die-hard Denver Broncos fan since birth, and that means that I owe this terrible tradgedy an official post regarding the subject, but...

    Ohhhhh but I so DON'T want to talk about it... Well, did anyone see the superbowl? There's really not much else to say..

    Actually, yes there is. I have A LOT to say about it, but I just can't muster the energy right now. Bleh. :(

  • OH DEAR GOD...

    Xanga.

    This is the best fifty bucks I've ever spent.

    Worth EVERY penny.

    Not for a blogging-site membership. (That would be retarded.)

    But for this Xanga, my Xanga! Fifty almost seems cheap.

    I'd do anything for you, true_dry_ice Xanga, thank you for being my truest friend and I want you to know that I'll always come back for you.

    We're going on 9 years Xanga, and I love you even more every day.

    I'm so glad to be back. :) )))

  • It looked alright in the pictures

    I know you we exist, because the second I found out about the "disorder", nothing changed. You we didn't become any more real just because we knew we could now. We've always been there. We've always been together. We always will be. We've always known that. And there was always that significant difference. So many fairies and baby dolls and stuffed animals that were imaginary friends. So seemingly real, each one. And yet between them and you us, there was always that definite difference.

    And it seems like ever since we started trying to overcomplicate this thing that we've known our whole life with definitions, explanations, equations, and "understanding", we've been less in sync than ever.

    Well I don't know which one is thinking this, but I think we'll be okay. I think we need to swing, sing, dance, and jump. Let's do that and see.

    "Baby be the class clown, I'll be the beauty queen in tears. It's a new art-form showing people how little we care. We're so happy, even when we're smiling out of fear. Let's go down to the tennis court and talk it up like yeah." -Lorde Tennis Court

  • Question for any Xangan!

    Can people who haven't upgraded to Xanga 2.0 see other people's Xangas if they are set to "public"? If not, I'd love to change my profile back to "public" so other Xangans can befriend me at will; I just don't want any undesirables from my own life to find this Xanga, haha. The important ones knows how to find it.

     

    Well, please help!

  • Daily Life Updates

    Guess I'll grace you guys with a recap of my exciting day:

    3pm(ish): Wake up and wake Car and Cora.

    5:15pm: Car left for work & I hopped in the shower.

    7:45pm: I emerged from bath-time, cooked pasghetti and meatchunks, and got ready to go to the store.

    9:15pm: I left for the store with Cora in my jacket.

    9:25pm: I got to the store, got my beer, and was rudely hassled by an old lady about how I can't bring Cora in there. I was going to explain that she was a service dog, but I decided just to admit defeat because I was too high to care enough to work up the mental energy to lie to an old lady working at a gas station. Hell, if her joy in life is to hassel cute girls with cute dogs then why not? Sounds about fair. Anywho.

    9:35pm: Got home & cleaned & rearranged our room the entire time until Carlton got home at 2:amish.

    2:00am(ish): Car gets home and we fight until we get bored of fighting and then go about our seperate activites, not talking, side by side on the bed.

    This is where we are now as I write this. But I can't complain, he hasn't asked me to turn my music down yet, which is a rare treat in my life. He has grandpa music-sound-level tastes. It's dumb. I love loud music. Bleh. How is "our" thing SXSW if he hates loud music??? Poser.

    [[Update on the Sean-sitch.]] : I finally came up with the code name for my evil rommate Sean: Spawn for "Spawn of Satan". Ha. I like it. So yeah, that's what that means. Anywho, there's not much to update yet, I haven't made much progress on getting back at him yet, but I did come up with a game-plan. My new plan of attack is to go at it from an old-me approach (instead of the new-me approach that would be to pout and hate living here all because of that) and match his games. Annoy the hell out of him. Hell, who says I can't? We are paying rent too, so it is our house just as much. And if worst did come to worse and he kicks us out, we'll move into International again with Keith. *Pause for seizure of happiness*. So I did a few things to him, but nothing that I consider an "attack" yet. I only fired the first shot into the air, and/or rang the first round bell. Anywho, my point is that now I think he knows I mean business and I think now we're just one move away from the sign I was born ready to give, 'This means war.' :] Yup, I sho am ready as hell. So he can hit me with his best shot. Anywho, the little things I did so far are this: I made a playlist on Seamus (Carlton's tab) of the songs I knew he would hate the most, all the rap and hip hop ones, and I waited until he was in the middle of watching a movie in the middle of the night, and I turned Seamus up all the way and went into the kitchen with it playing and started to cook food very loudly with pots and pans and stuff and when he asked me to turn it down, I obliged glady - with one little notch. I was actually more impressed with myself than I thought, because I managed to chase him out within three songs. Hahaha, that made me think that this might be a little easier than I thought. Anywho, now I am actually kind of looking forward to this battle! It actually started making me feel even more content here. I kind of like having a little competition in my own house. It keeps things interesting. Expecially since I literally have absolutely no life outside this house. So yeah, now I'm happier about the situation. I'll post more battle-plan brainstorming later.

    *Also, Carlton finally asked me to turn it down. >:( I turned it down one notch, let's see how long it takes him to ask me again. From 33:33am. Go:!*